Dan the Destroyer Read online

“All right,” Dan said. “We’ll stop someplace else, and you’ll keep them from ripping me off.”

  Nadia grinned at that. “Oh, they’ll still rip you off. Just not as bad as they would without me sitting in.”

  “That works,” Dan said and turned his attention back to the table. Between stacked coins and sparkling gems, he could see swaths of the map underneath, roads and rivers and villages peeking out from between the spoils of victory. His eyes scanned back and forth as if some section might jump out and beckon to him.

  Always intuitive, Holly said, “Our people will follow you anywhere, husband.”

  “That would great,” Dan said, “if I had someplace to go.”

  To Hades with it, he thought. We’ll figure out where we’re going once we’re on the way. The important thing was to get out of here before disease struck.

  Nadia went through the value of different items. Dan already had an idea from the experience point breakdown, but it was still staggering, hearing what some of the items were worth. The five black pearls sitting atop a square of white fur were worth five hundred gold pieces each, an unthinkable sum for items he could store in a single pocket.

  Most stunning of all was the jewelry taken from the giant who’d almost killed Dan and Ula. Piled together, the necklaces, earrings, bracelet, rings, and tiara totaled 44,000 gold pieces in value, enough money to buy +5 armor, raise an army, and stay drunk for a decade or three.

  Impulsively, he snatched up the most beautiful piece, an elaborate necklace of platinum and purple amethyst valued at nineteen thousand gold pieces, and beckoned to Holly.

  She brightened, popped up from her chair, and came to him.

  He took her by the shoulders, kissed her forehead, and turned her away from him. “Lift your hair, first wife,” he said.

  Holly did as she was told, lifting her golden plait and revealing her shapely neck. Looking over her bare shoulder, Dan could see the milk-pale swell of her incredible cleavage between the lapels of the loose robe, the thin silk of which did little to hide the shape of his wife’s breasts or her diamond-hard nipples.

  Moving slowly, Dan lowered the necklace into place and fastened its clasp at the back of Holly’s neck. “For you, my love.”

  “Thank you, husband,” Holly said. She turned, beaming, to display the gift.

  Choker tight against her throat, the necklace fell in a triangular spill of platinum and sparkling gemstone, delving deep into her cleavage. Amethysts sparkled between her round, full breasts like purple stars between planets.

  Dan felt himself growing hard at the sight of his gorgeous wife.

  “The amethysts match your eyes,” Nadia said, reaching out to stroke the necklace.

  Noticing how Nadia’s fingers also brushed Holly’s breast, Dan grew harder still.

  Wulfgar was right. He’d been working too much lately. He needed to get primal with his women.

  But he would finish this first. “Speaking of jewels matching eyes,” he said, and lifted the pair of fourteen-thousand-gold-piece emerald earrings from the table, “these are for you, second wife.”

  Nadia’s green eyes gleamed, her beautiful mouth fell open, and her cheeks pinkened. An orphan who’d spent her youth bouncing between foster care and detention facilities, Nadia had grown up even poorer than Dan.

  Holly laughed. “You’ve done the impossible, husband. You’ve rendered her speechless.”

  “Shut it, elf,” Nadia joked, snapping out of her shocked silence. She lifted her thick chestnut locks, revealing her ears.

  “You’d better put these in yourself,” Dan said. “With my thick fingers, I might poke holes in you.”

  “You’re welcome to poke my holes anytime, big boy,” Nadia teased, taking the earrings from him. Glowing with happiness, she put in the earrings and turned back and forth for everyone to see.

  “They’re gorgeous,” Holly said. “And our husband is right. They’re the perfect match with your eyes.”

  “Thanks,” Nadia said, and then she was in Dan’s arms, kissing him passionately, her tongue pushing into his mouth and licking lightly and submissively against his own, an invitation to her alpha.

  That was an invitation he would happily accept. But first, he would finish the task at hand. Breaking the kiss, he stepped back. “You’re welcome, my love.”

  Still beaming, Nadia let her hair fall back into place, hiding the earrings behind a brunette curtain.

  Dan had to smile. That was Nadia to a tee. She stood before him, clad in black leather, every lithe inch of her looking like a thief, hiding the priceless jewelry. His beautiful chest of hidden wonders…

  It struck him then that Holly’s gift was equally fitting. His grey elf wife had grown increasingly regal since leaving the grove. Now she wore her necklace with brazen boldness, sparkling across the aching beauty of her barely concealed breasts for all the world to see, his proud and powerful queen.

  Dan turned then and looked at Ula, who stood near the doorway, holding her double-bladed axe at the ready, his faithful bodyguard, who still stood guard despite the bloody bandages encasing much of her beautiful, green-skinned body.

  The hobgoblin warrior woman had fought bravely in the Battle of Fire Ridge, nearly dying when she’d knocked Dan to safety and taken the brunt of the giant’s attack.

  “Ula,” he said, and beckoned to her.

  Ula hesitated. Her red face blushed purple.

  Dan knew that Ula’s crazy-ass warrior code had left her feeling guilty and inadequate after she’d fallen in battle, regardless of the glaring fact that he would have died without her.

  He was going to put that shit to rest for good. “Come here,” he said sharply, feigning impatience.

  Ula responded to the command, regaining composure and marching up to him. The warrior woman was nearly as tall as Dan, so her bright yellow eyes stared directly into his. Her little tusks poked out from her mouth, which was set in a straight line.

  She was trying very hard to maintain the bearing of a soldier, he could tell.

  “First,” he said, crossing the room and picking up one of the extra-healing potions Nadia had brought back from State College, “I command you to drink 1/3 of this.”

  Holly interpreted, though it was probably unnecessary. Ula understood pretty much everything he said now. She was getting better at speaking in Common, too.

  Ula hesitated briefly—probably due to some hobgoblin warrior culture bullshit involving battle wounds, Dan figured—and then lifted the decanter to her lips and drank.

  “McClanahan’s sells these things out of vending machines now,” Nadia said incredulously. “Can you believe it? A fucking vending machine packed with glowing potions and a handful of candy bars.”

  Holly jumped in saying she’d kill for a candy bar, and Dan’s wives started debating which candy bars were best. As they squabbled over sweets, Dan watched Ula’s eyes widen. She stood straighter and smiled, her face suddenly shining a healthy red.

  “Thank you, Chief,” she said, stripping away bloody bandages to reveal completely healed flesh that practically vibrated with maximized vitality.

  Dan took the remaining potion from her and tossed it back. The effervescent pink liquid had a light, fruity sweetness and burned slightly going down—like Sprite mixed with a tropical juice blend and a pinch of cayenne powder. Hitting his stomach, the warmth spread rapidly throughout his body in euphoric waves. Pain ebbed away as his wounds closed.

  “Now that you’re well again,” Dan said to Ula, “I’ll give you your gift.”

  The warrior woman blushed dark purple again. She grinned uncomfortably, her yellow eyes darting from Dan to the fancy jewelry on the table.

  But no, Dan thought, leaning over the table. Delicate jewelry wouldn’t fit his fierce warrior woman, who dressed only in a fur bikini, boots, leather bracers, and spiked epaulets that reminded him of shoulder pads from some kind of extraordinarily violent form of medieval football.

  He swept the perfect item off the table and extended it to her. “My gift to you for saving my life.”

  Ula gave a burst of curiously girlish laughter and cinched the belt around her waist, twisting in ways that did very interesting things to her exotic, muscular figure and shapely breasts.

  Dan grew even harder watching her.

  Ula ripped Roderick’s glowing sword from its sheath. She stepped back and spun, whirling the magical blade in deadly circles and slicing the air in an impressive display that highlighted her personality just as much as Holly and Nadia’s jewelry had revealed theirs.

  Ula held the sword before her and turned it in the light, smiling down at the shining blade.

  Dan lashed out and knocked it from her hands.

  The hobgoblin warrior woman looked up at him with confusion. “Chief?”

  He pushed her shoulder just hard enough to send the message.

  Ula twisted with the shove and fell instinctively into a fighting position. Confusion lifted from her face, and her tusks were suddenly jutting from a grin. “Unta deel peeta feen!” she taunted and threw a haymaker.

  Dan tucked his chin and turned his shoulder. The punch grazed harmlessly across the side of his face. Dipping it had been easy. Leveling up had its advantages.

  Ula railed at him with a guttural stream of insults.

  Dan would have preferred to do this without playing Ula’s crazy-ass hobgoblin foreplay, but he knew that she needed to go through the motions.

  He walked straight at her.

  Ula backpedaled, throwing punches. He easily batted aside her attacks and turned his hip almost without thinking when she tried to knee him in the balls.

  Then her back was against the wagon wall and he was on her.

  Ula roared insults as he spun her around and slipped his forearm under her jaw. She struggled and fought, putting up the fight that her tribal custom demanded, despite the fact that she’d wanted him for weeks. As a warrior woman, she could give herself only to a male strong enough to overpower her in combat, and that’s exactly what Dan did, squeezing just hard enough to pinch off her artery and knock her out.

  When Ula went limp, he laid her gently upon the floor.

  “What the fuck was that all about?” Nadia said. “I thought you were glad that she had stopped attacking you.”

  Dan laughed.

  “Our husband has finally come to his senses,” Holly said.

  5

  The Real Deel

  Ula came to on her stomach and looked up at him with lust in her eyes. Keeping her face pressed to the floor, she inched her knees forward, lifting her ass into the air. Then she reached back and peeled away the fur bikini bottom, revealing a taut ass and a triangle of bright red pubic hair.

  Dan took his time, staring down at her as he peeled off his shirt, kicked off his boots, and started unbuckling his belt. He had wanted this, wanted her, for a long time, but he wasn’t going to rush the moment.

  “Please,” Ula moaned, reaching between her legs with one hand to spread open her pink and glistening slit for him.

  “You are my strong warrior woman,” Dan said. He pushed his pants down, and his swollen member sprang free.

  Ula’s eyes flashed greedily, staring at him.

  “You will fight at my side,” Dan said, “and you will bear me strong children.”

  “Yes, Chief,” Ula grunted, switching her shapely ass back and forth.

  “You are mine,” Dan told her, lowering onto his knees behind her. “Mine and mine alone. Forever. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” Ula moaned.

  Dan moved his hips forward, pressing the tip of his engorged manhood against the wet pink lips of her opening.

  Ula shuddered with anticipation.

  He was giving her what she needed to feel properly claimed. The shove, the submission, and the showmanship.

  But the rest he would do on his terms, not hers.

  Thinking like a hobgoblin, she probably expected him to pummel her. But he wouldn’t do that. Not yet.

  Warrior woman or no warrior woman, Ula was still a virgin, and Dan was a true barbarian below the waist. He wanted to claim her, not ruin her. There would be time enough for pounding on the long ride to wherever they were going.

  Besides, he thought, grinning as he pushed forward slowly, I’ll drive her nuts, teasing her with tenderness.

  He eased himself forward a fraction of an inch, spreading her lips. His tip met a soft wall then, her swollen tightness unprepared for his considerable girth.

  “Please,” Ula moaned. “In.”

  Dan smacked her shapely, muscular ass, making her cry out with surprise. Then he seized her roughly by the hips, digging his fingers into her flesh and held her tightly as he entered her.

  But here he took his time, pushing slowly forward, spreading her apart as gently as he could. Ula was so tight.

  She wriggled, breathing hard.

  He pulled back, almost popping free, then eased forward again, sliding forward an inch deeper than before.

  Her channel gripped him like a fist.

  Moaning, Ula tried to push back into him, but he held her in place with one hand. “You don’t decide,” he said, leaning over her. “I decide when and how to fuck you. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Chief,” Ula said, her breathing ragged with desire now.

  Reaching forward, he cupped her bikini top. Beneath the fur, her breast was shapely and firm.

  As he eased his girth forward, gently spreading her tight channel, he reached inside the bikini to pinch her nipple sharply.

  Ula gave a little yelp and tried again to impale herself on his length.

  Grabbing a fistful of her blood-red hair, Dan said, “What did I tell you?”

  “Your fuck,” Ula said. “How hard fuck when.”

  Holly laughed at her new sister wife’s imperfect Common, which was actually impressive as Hades.

  Dan looked up at Holly to see her standing beside the great table with one foot up on a chair. She looked down at him with a look of feverish desire on her face. Her silk robe had come completely open. She was naked underneath, save for the sparkling necklace he’d just given her.

  Still clothed in black leather, Nadia knelt before her sister-wife, lapping at her sex.

  Dan growled at the sight, and it was all he could do to keep from slamming himself all the way to the hilt in Ula.

  Holly’s hand was buried in Nadia’s chestnut locks as the thief slurped enthusiastically between her legs. Holly’s purple eyes were locked on Dan and Ula, drowsing with sultry pleasure. Her lips parted and her perfect breasts lifted as she arched her back.

  Dan bore down pushing slowly but steadily forward. He felt Ula’s hymen give and inched forward into her wet warmth.

  Ula whimpered from pleasure or pain—or perhaps both.

  Dan pulled back, watching as Nadia continued to service Holly, and Holly, still eyeing him, started squeezing her own breasts.

  Dan slid forward again, giving Ula half of his length, then fell into a rhythm, pumping her tender sex with short strokes that spread her and made her pant like a dog beneath him. Bit by bit, he increased his speed and plunged more deeply into her.

  Holly was panting now, too, and her hands dropped from her breasts to caress the brunette head working between her legs. One of Nadia’s hands was pressed between her own legs, rubbing back and forth across the leather crotch.

  Dan reached around and found the soaked and swollen nub at the top of Ula’s sex. Peeling back the hood, he rolled her slick pearl between his thumb and forefinger.

  Ula whimpered softly.

  Dan continued to pump away rhythmically, burying most of his length and rubbing his fingertips in tight circles over her enflamed button.

  Beneath him, Ula had come onto all fours. Her rippling muscles tightened, and she trembled harder.

  Aware that his new wife was edging toward climax, Dan stepped up his ministrations, pumping a little harder and a little faster, giving her all but his final inch now, and moving his fingers in even tighter circles, pressing down harder to push her over the edge.

  His erection throbbed, and his swollen balls ached as they rocked back and forth, bulging with seed after days without release.

  Ula started grunting rapidly, sounding almost panicked, and her fingers curled inward as her hands tightened into fists. She thrust backward with her hips, wanting all of him, and this time, he gave her what she wanted, letting her impale herself on his full length.

  Her muscular body went rigid then bucked as wave after orgasmic wave washed over her, making her cry out in an ecstatic stream of half-choked hobgoblin.

  Seconds later, Holly was spewing Elvish as the combination of Nadia’s tongue and the sight of Dan fucking Ula to orgasm brought on her own climax.

  The chain effect continued from there as Nadia fell to all fours, one hand clamped between her leather-clad thighs, shuddering as she too exploded with pleasure.

  It was too much for Dan, who roared as his balls pulsed, pumping jet after jet of hot seed deep inside his new wife. He held tightly to her waist, keeping her pressed against him as his climax went on and on and on, flooding Ula with hot seed.

  Once he’d finished, he released her hips.

  The hobgoblin warrior woman fell forward to lay spread-eagled upon the floor, mewling with pleasure, a large puddle of his seed draining out onto the floor.

  Dan bent and helped Ula to her feet, then wrapped her in an embrace. Then he took her by the back of the neck and kissed her.

  “Ula give chief strong babies,” Ula said.

  Dan held her head in his hands, smiling into the red face he had come to love. “Yes, you will. And we will fight side by side forever.”

  This brought a smile to her face. “Kill many enemy.”

  “Yes,” he said, and kissed her again. “We will kill a shit-ton of enemies.”

  Holly started cinching her robe about her waist.

  “Don’t bother,” Dan said. “I want you.”

  “Soon, husband,” Holly said, “but you have more business to attend to first.”

  “To Hades with that,” he said, reaching for her. But his fingertips only brushed over her silken gown as she stepped deftly away.